Former coworkers and the stuff that canned them?

beefwich · 1 year

I assistant managed this run-down Italian food restaurant that could have doubled as an insane asylum:

I fired a guy after he threw a temper tantrum, turned and hurled a dinner plate against a wall (I sat him and he was going to be late for a Phish concert or some shit). This would have been fine except the plate didn't hit a wall, it hit one of our hostesses in the side of the head. FOOMP
A straight up prison fight occurred in our walk-in freezer once. These two guys turned each other into hamburger meat. Blood everywhere. We even dug one of the guys' fingernails out of the sump. All over thirty fucking dollars. Had to fire them both-- which was a shame because they were the both great cooks. DOUBLE FOOMP
One waiter had a big problem with pills. One night, he came in so high that he was just babbling incoherently. I sat him in the office where he proceeded to puke his guts out. He didn't come back for two weeks-- then just showed up one day like nothing had happened. FOO--like... wha... hey... I'mean--MP
Two thugs came in once and threatened another manager's life. We ran them off and they came back later that night with more guys. In front of four or five tables, the manager threw undiluted ammonia in one of the guy's face. He was fired a few weeks later. The whole rigmarole was about a chick. FOO-- MY EYES!-- MP

I eventually left after they hired a guy to run the place that was even crazier than the waiters. He'd drink two bottles of wine a night, snorted more cocaine than Tony Montana and was regularly poling a 16 year-old hostess. It was like letting the inmates run the asylum. SELF FOOMP

SicTim · 1 year

I was a supervisor at a chemical plant in the '80s. We made caulks, sealants, etc. I was the "lead batcher," which meant I was responsible for the area where we initially mixed the raw materials.

You can imagine everything that could go wrong. We worked with heavy duty solvents, raw asbestos, sulphur dioxide, diisocyanates (remember Bhopal?), etc. etc.

It's the only time I had to fire somebody in my entire life. (And to imagine this properly, it helps to know that his previous job was as a carny, running the tilt-a-whirl. This will get much scarier soon.)

He dropped a palette from the upper batching deck to the floor about 12' below, without checking to see if anyone was underneath. It landed with a loud, sharp crack -- narrowly missing one of the founders of the plant who was there on a rare visit.
After disassembling a mixhead for making urethane rubber, without using gloves, said, "I got some of that poison you warned me about in a cut. It stings."
After a minor but potentially lethal toluene diisocyanate spill; which I (rather valiantly, I think) reacted to by holding my breath, grabbing the ammonia neutralizer bucket, dumping it on the spill, running out the back door and gasping for breath; wandered up to me from a completely different area and asked me, "Are we taking a smoke break?"
Nearly gave me a heart attack when I was about to drop a forklift's worth of trash on a palette into the garbage crusher. Then I noticed trash flying out of the crusher. He was inside, trying to "clear a clog." And no, he had not turned the safety key off, which was right there in the lock. I will never forget the goofy, startled look on his face when I, on adrenaline overload after nearly killing a man, asked him what the fuck he was doing.

At that point, I told my boss I had to fire him for his own safety as well as everybody else's. My boss couldn't have agreed more.

fuzz00713 · 1 year

I have a laundry list of over the top terminations where I work.

First off, we had a sales coordinator fired for embezzling $140k. Had a customer service agent fired for snorting crack off of the toilet and going into convulsions, requiring emergency services.

Had a manager fired for having not one, not two, not even three, but four separate sexual liaisons with his subordinates during working hours, in his office and in the parking lot. Last but not least, had an SQL Admin let go for calling a VP a "thunder-cunt". She was.

jk0330 · 1 year

there was one guy who managed the batch jobs at a shop i worked at years ago. i got called in to trouble shoot an abend in the middle of the night and found this guy watching porn on one tv, play video games on another while drinking jack and snorting meth. All the while the tape librarian was in her bra and panties giving him a lap dance. He finally got canned when he set up an 18 hole chip and putt in the office area where 250 COBOL programmers worked. The 18th hole was in the VPs office. They caught him because of the golf ball dents on the 13th hole where you had to bank the shot off a file cabinet.

xandapanda · 1 year

I worked in the kitchen at a nursing home when I was in college. One of the nurse's aides got fired because she refused to stop singing "Jesus loves me" to the residents. Some of them had dementia and wouldn't have noticed anyway but some were completely lucid and very offended. She was warned several times and it got to a point where she would actually sneak around singing very quietly to people with mobility issues who couldn't get away from her.

gotmayonase · 1 year

While working at a call center, a friend of mine wrote a fairly impressive Access application to handle time tracking for all the agents on his team. This app included the ability to go back and modify recording information, but he put an easter egg in it if you tried to modify records associated with his account. It would require you to click multiple confirmation dialogs to make sure you really wanted to update his record. One of the dialogs mentioned the "children in the basement sweatshop building headsets" and another said something about shooting your mother in the face with a shotgun. It was really just meant as a joke between me and him.

Anyways he moved on to another department, but his app was still being used by many of the teams at the center. One day someone started digging around in the code for some reason, and found this little easter egg. Management got wind of it, and escorted him off the premises immediately.

rickdabunny · 1 year

Not a coworker of mine, but one of friend's roommates got canned for something pretty crazy.

This guy was addicted to cocaine, when he did cocaine he liked to get naked and look at porn. If he was lucky he would find a random person to have sex with him.

So one Friday night he did a bunch of cocaine and for whatever reason went into his office while no one was there. Obviously since he was doing cocaine he needed to get naked. Since he was naked he decided to e-mail some of his female coworkers from his blackberry something along the lines of "I'm at the office, I have a bunch of cocaine and I'm horny. Come to the office, I'm waiting for you". He also was looking at porn on the projector in the conference room and had some fap time. He was at the office on this binge for about 24 hours then went home and passed out.

He woke up Monday morning and had faint memories of what he did over the weekend, immediately he e-mailed his boss and said he was mugged and his blackberry was stolen Friday night and that he doesn't know if the person who stole it sent any e-mails, but he just wanted to notify everyone that they weren't from him. He also said that he was going to not be in because he was still recovering from being mugged. His boss called shortly after he sent the e-mial and left him a voicemail saying "We have you on the security cameras, you're fired and we've notified the police".

TL;DR cocaine is a hell of a drug

Milligan · 1 year

System administrator calls the summer intern and asks him to flip the red switch on the mainframe's console from "production" to "test". Intern instead somehow gets into the passive area (lights-out area where the mainframes are kept) and flips the emergency power off switch on the CPU from "On" to "Off" (or at least the equivalent symbols).

Mainframe goes into interlock, 18 hours and $60,000.00 in parts later, the computer is finally running again. FOOMP

Araya213 · 1 year

An intern at some shitty job I had a million years ago forwarded some stupid chain email to a distribution group that included every single person employed by the company. Somewhere along the lines of 10,000 people were introduced to "The happy frog" at the same time (8:15 am on Monday morning) including the CEO. At 8:19 am the same day, said intern was escorted from the premises.

rumdiary · 1 year

My former boss was the owner of our law firm's rival company, not just some schmuck, the freakin' millionaire owner living the double-life of an insider!

He devoted his entire life to leading a double-identity. Different names, different houses etc. just so he knew all the insider information on our company! He and our law firm's managing director were even mates and went to each others houses often to hang out.

Our website designer once called up our host though and the lady on the other end mistakenly gave him the master password for all the websites he'd been running, including the one for the rival law firm.

£300,000 law suit later and the guy got nailed with a £2,000,000 fine.

arghabargh · 1 year

Used to drive trucks (Chevy trucks, not semis) with about 500 lbs. of mosquito killing equipment, worth an extensive amount of money, loaded into the back. The main source of supervision for higher-ups is a computer that relays the position and speed that each of the trucks is doing at any time, if someone is going above 60 mph, it starts blinking. Every truck is on the same radio frequency in case we need to meet up, get in contact with supervisors, whatever. There was a worker there who was totally unqualified, and a pathological liar all the same (he told people he had a full ride to Michigan for football, but was going to community college 'for his basics', because that makes sense).

So one night, the radio cackles in "Hey, this is MC 45, I just got rear ended, what should I do?" and of course the supervisor says "I'll be out there as soon as I can? Is the other car still there?" Guy replies "It was a hit-and-run, some guy in a black Buick, just drove off right afterwards." At this point, every other employee is texting/calling each other on personal cell phones to find out what's going on (crashes are always interesting, make for good work stories).

Everybody is curious as to what actually happened, and the radio has been silent on it for about 15 minutes, when the supervisor gets on "MC 4 to base, uh yeah we're gonna need a tow truck out here." Now everyone working is wondering how serious this was, and since we already knows that this guy is seriously unqualified, we're starting to think that maybe he did something wrong, and we start making theories up.

At the end of the night, everyone returns to base, and sees the work truck he was driving in, positively demolished, the front axle has snapped, and the wheels are all askew, it's dirty; he fucked it up pretty bad. The guy is nowhere to be found, and we all go home wanting to find out exactly what happened. It's not until the next day that we find out that this guy had actually taken the truck far off from his destination, found some old deteriorating road, and slammed on the gas, getting up to ~80 mph, and went over a raised railroad track, jumping the truck at least 13 feet. Upon landing, the truck basically fell apart, and this guy made up the most plausible lie he could (which, in line with his other ones, was entirely inplausible). He was immediately fired the next day after they looked at the map from the previous night and noticed he was speeding up until the point he jumped, and he ended up confessing when the facts were laid out in front of him.

TL;DR: guy takes a jump in work truck, breaks it, lies, gets caught.

edited, for editing.

jeronimoe · 1 year

In the IT department of an investment bank...

Guy 1 is standing by two women coworkers chatting. Guy 2 decides to pants guy 1 as he walks by, however, guy 1 was going commando that day...

Needless to say guy 2 was escorted from the building within an hour, guy 1 didn't show up to work again for about a week.

banjomik · 1 year

My coworker had a poop blog. A photo blog of his daily constitutions. Trouble was he mentioned where he worked and what he did and mentioned said blog to a few co-workers. FOOMP

Edmondantes · 1 year

My parents fired my guitar teacher after they read in the paper that he was found running down I-80 wearing only socks. Apparently his mom also found a chest full of porn, firecrackers, marijuana and other assorted narcotics. That was during the week of what was to be my first concert :(. I was going to play Canon in D.

Caedus_Vao · 1 year

I used to work at an auto repair garage. Privately owned, serviced older British sports cars. It was also an indoor junkyard, i.e., a freaking jungle of carefully organized but still chaotic-appearing racks with loose car parts and hundreds of boxes and thousands of bins that were carefully labeled and sorted. Additionally, cars and components in various states of repair/disassembly were scattered through the bays.

The boss hires this rocket scientist to do a little cleaning/light shipping for a few hours a day. After several days on the job, the boss runs out for 20 minutes to grab a bit of lunch. He comes back, this guy is GONE. Nowhere to be found. We hunt high and low, call his phone, etc.

Turns out, he'd crawled into a car and went to sleep.

FOOMP

-edited for formatting

space-heater · 1 year

A coworker who used search and replace in a document to change every instance of 25 to 15 which changed the company telephone to a phone sex number.... FOOMP!

imposterable · 1 year

I work in IT and we hired a new Security Coordinator. A few months after he started two Cisco switches mysteriously disappeared from the network engineers secured office. So the engineer searches ebay and finds the identical switches being sold for $25k a piece (switches were worth around $50k a piece). It was easy to tell it was the security coordinator because the sellers email address was the security coordinators name.

He was asked to come to HR where he was met by law enforcement and we never saw him again.

i_forgot · 1 year

This one happened to me.

Back in college, I took a job at Toys R Us during the holiday season. When I came in for my first day, I clocked in and they got me started on a mountain of papers, certainly the most I've ever had for a crappy job. In the middle of the stack was an explanation of their policy that each employee had to be patted down by a manager before leaving the store for any reason (lunch, smoke break, anything), requiring a signature. I thought that was absurd and I refused to sign. The hiring woman went and got a manager, who told me that I couldn't have the job if I didn't sign the policy. So I left.

A couple weeks later, I got a check in the mail for something like $3.16, apparently for the 20 minutes or so I spent filling out papers.

cypher543 · 1 year

A customer service representative at a software company I used to work for was fired after he furiously told a customer to "Just shut the fuck up for a second!" I wasn't in the office when it happened, unfortunately.

lutris · 1 year

i stupidly admitted to my boss that i was considering accepting another job offer (this was to potentially save time and money since the boss was about to put me through some expensive training). next morning i was called a security risk and escorted from the building. hate it when being honest hurts you more than it helps...

Sharpieninja · 1 year

A company I worked for once had to fire a girl for having erotic facebook chats with our clients while at work

[deleted] · 1 year

I work in a lawfirm. Almost a year ago two secretaries were fired after numerous inappropriate behavior: they would take provocative pictures of each other in the work bathroom and send them to one another, they would play Farmville for three hours at a time, would rummage their way through the law partners' private e-mails, and just in general would bitch about other people without doing much work. After they were fired, the lawfirm went through each girl's IMs (the conversations were all archived) and found the evidence of the pictures, the games, the e-mails, etc.

At this same place, one of our IT guys was fired after he drove drunk into a private pool, then tried to hide it from the partners.

neaveru · 1 year

In a supermarket right after 9/11, the butcher decided to put a knife to the throat of one of the kids who wheeled in the carts because the kid was Egyptian.

tgeliot · 1 year

My favorite was a story I heard about a manager ("Mr. X") where I used to work. There was a big layoff, and the manager then had to stay late doing all the data entry for laid-off employees, disabling their badges, etc.

The next morning, his badge wouldn't open the door, so he got somebody else to let him in. He was in the office of his boss ("Mr. Y") when security showed up. The security guy asked his boss "Do you know Mr. X?" Mr. Y says "yes, why?". Security guy "he was laid off yesterday, and there were multiple unsuccessful attempts to enter the building with his badge this morning, and we're worried he might be here to take revenge!"

Turns out that Mr X had accidentally typed his own ID number in instead of that of somebody he had just laid off. He laid himself off.

DontNeglectTheBalls · 1 year

Three come to mind.

Failure to complete within 12 hours a task which they were handed which was technologically impossible to complete.

Failure to accept an 80% cut in salary with no commensurate drop in hours.

Failure to lie to a customer about certifications and credentials the individual had, and how many engineers we actually had to work on their project (1, they were told 25).

I work for a bunch of tools.

sirbruce · 1 year

The weirdest was a guy who simply stopped showing up for work one day, then would show up the next as if nothing happened. Eventually he didn't show up for a whole week; when he finally came into work the following monday, they fired him. It turns out he had accepted this job and then got another job someplace else that he liked better, but for some reason didn't want to quit the first one.

Grrface · 1 year

I work for a company that did IT Consulting in the past. Had a coworker who was already on the short list for being incredibly lazy, wasting time at the office, etc, but one particular incident ended his stay here for good.

He was sent out to a long time client who had been having issues with an office printer of theirs. After taking over an hour to drive 15 minutes down the road, he arrives at the office. They explain to him that they're having connectivity issues from a few of their PCs (which likely just needed a proper printer installation.) He walks into the office, looks around, walks to the printer, and without touching it, says "well, printer must be broken, nothing I can do." And walks out of the office. Another hour to return to the office, but the livid phone call had beaten him there. FOOMP

thats_treason · 1 year

One guy I worked with took some mannequins (i work in a shoes/clothes store) and put them in a really sexual position. He then drew vaginas with teeth on them and left after this hard day's work. Some cameras ended up catching him in the act and he was fired the next day.

inkslave · 1 year

There was a guy on my oil field crew we called "Midget" because he was a little under 5 feet tall, though he was strong as an ox and always held up his end on the job. Midget got warned a couple of times, maybe more than a couple, because he liked to drive fast, way too fast for someone hauling 10 tons of sand around. Well, one day we were all driving to a job, in the rain, a long line of trucks making decent time up the interstate, and in my rearview mirror I see these lights coming up fast. It was Midget, all right, doing maybe 80 mph in a fully loaded sand truck. He had been late leaving the yard, but just catching up to us was not enough for him. I suspect he had been popping speed. He passed us all and careened on into the rainy pre-dawn light.

There was a spot up ahead where the road split into two forks, one heading north, the other south. Midget, as the police report said later with brilliant understatement, continued in an easterly direction. He left the roadway and sailed out over an embankment, clearing a full 75 feet through the air before his truck hit the ground. He ended up on the driver's side. By the time we got up to him and started climbing up to open the door, his tires were still spinning. I will never forget the sight of him down there, still behind the wheel, bouncing around like a netted fish. We dragged him out -- subsequent BLS training has helped me understand how stupid that was -- and had him out on the ground by the time the first cops got there. He was moaning and babbling something awful when they loaded him in the ambulance.

Oh yeah, he was fired.

Turned out he had also been driving with one of his big sand tanks fully pressurized -- kinda complicated, but suffice to say we were lucky he didn't blow us all up real good.

kava · 1 year

1) Guy embezzled almost 1 million dollars by setting up a dummy corporation to get rebates that the company was offering. He was eventually caught by an internal audit and was called into a meeting where he was met by police/FBI. Handcuffed FOOMP Spent 1 year in county jail and had to make restitution.

2) Guy comes out of a meeting and is talking to another co-worker in an elevator. He is overheard to say something along the lines of, "I'd like to line each of them up against the wall and bang, bang bang!" It was an offhand remark, not a real threat, but he was immediately fired for terrorist threats or some such. FOOMP

3) Guy is caught bringing prostitutes onto the property during the weekend. He would tell the security guard that they were his sister or cousin. FO... WTF? NOT FIRED. I don't know what info he had on who, but he got a 2nd chance.

4) New guy that no one liked because he couldn't shut his trap about his right-wing politics was caught sleeping on the job. Someone took a picture of him and narc'd. When asked about it, he lied. FOOMP Would have gotten a 2nd change if he'd fessed up.

esper2142 · 1 year

Friend of mine worked at a help desk. He had heard of a policy change that was going to get rid of a lot of their jobs and move to a single contracting resource. He decided to remote into his bosses computer to look for any documents that supported this rumor. Unfortunately, the computer was also littered with sensitive DoD information (their clients made things for the government). The logs were checked, he was found out and walked out the door the next day.

tl;dr - DoD shit ain't nuthin' ta fuck with.

Sidzilla · 1 year

At the time I was the night shift superintendent. All the production areas ran a skeleton crew on second shift and I was in charge of all of them.

I had to go out for surgery on my neck and was gone for about six weeks. On the last week I was out the entire crew punched in and as soon as the day shift was gone they snuck out to the local titty bar. The entire crew.

They would have gotten away with it, but when they snuck back in to punch out for the evening two of them got in a drunken brawl in the parking lot and the police were called.

The entire shift got suspended and the two team leaders who were supposed to be covering for me were fired. I don't know how they expected to cover the fact that no work got done that evening, but I know my bosses were glad to have me back.

BloaterPaste · 1 year

About ten years ago I worked at a really big financial company,that is now largely U.S. citizen owned. Tens of thousands of employees. We had gotten an email from the super-double-mega powerful CEO reminding us not to use the corp email for non-business use. About two weeks after that, the CEO sends out an email announcing the death of one of the senior execs that had been with the company for a long time, personal friend of the boss, and a powerful person in his own right. This friend of mine fires off a reply to the big boss reminding him of his own edict on personal use of email.

Two hours later, he was escorted out of the building. Took that long, because his term had to bounce all the way down the chain of command.

Was very impressive... EDIT: yesyesyes, for non-business use.

HouseofUncommons · 1 year

My step-dad works at Barclays Capital and told me how a coworker of his was fired. He was already resigning to join another company, so didn't care too much, but wanted garden leave before he left completely (garden leave, for those who don't know, is basically paid leave before you leave the job). To get this he decided to try and recruit some of his colleagues to his new job, openly, to try and attract attention. Eventually the higher powers caught wind of it and he was escorted from the building. (I say escorted, I mean dragged by two security guards) As he was being dragged out of the building, he continued to try and recruit people by shouting it out. Even better for him was that Barclays had to legally give him three months paid leave.

mnem0syne · 1 year

How about an orthopedic surgeon who used a computer meant for patients in the psychiatric ward to download AMPUTEE porn? They couldn't figure out who was misusing the computer and had to use a security camera.

1of6billion · 1 year

I worked at an assisted living community which shall go unnamed. One of the residents there would periodically stand on top of his bed, rip all the sheets off, and pee on the mattress. The Executive Director (the boss of everyone at that location) told the family of the resident, but they still wouldn't believe their father could be doing such a thing. So the Director told an aide to take a photograph the next time the resident did this, big no no because of HIPAA. So the aide took the photograph, and the ED sent the picture to the family in an e-mail. Problem was one of the family member works in the Department of Public Health, and our whole community was audited for a week over this. The director was fired by corporate a week later.

tl;dr- Boss took a picture of an old man peeing on his bed, e-mailed it to a family member who worked for the department of public health.

raugturi · 1 year

Unfortunately I have no way to verify if this story is 100% true. However, the story as it's been told to me is that someone was in an online meeting and got bored, so he decided to watch porn. He then proceeded, as one generally does while watching porn, to masturbate. What he didn't realize was that his camera was on. He had the meeting muted so he couldn't hear them all screaming at him to stop what he was doing, not that doing so would have helped him any by that point. It just makes it that much more funny since it was new technology so they didn't know to kick him out of the conference or hide his camera view.

Edit: 01000110 01001111 01001111 01001101 01010000

b1rd · 1 year

A coworker at my last job snorted cocaine at his desk, which was just a half-cubicle in the middle of the office, not even in a private office behind a closed door. He was sitting 2 feet from the warehouse door, where many, many people walk back and forth throughout the day.

I walked up to hand him some paperwork and nearly pooped myself. I couldn't believe it. I had to have another coworker walk by and tell me if she saw the same thing, because I was in such a state of shock I refused to believe that something that crazy could be happening.

He got canned that afternoon, and attacked the owner as he was firing him. He grabbed him by the neck and threw him at the wall.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

netzdamon · 1 year

Got offered a sysadmin job across country. Company paid to fly me out. Was a small company and they had a little get together the night I landed and was introducing me to the team. We were all having some drinks ended up in a bedroom with one of the girls who worked there. Long story short, don't fuck your bosses girlfriend on his bed before the first day of work.

Fluid_Motion · 1 year

I used to work at a "higher" class catering facility and let me break a couple things down for you:

Line Cook A: fun loving african american lady who was obnoxious and cursed at the top of her lungs but everyone loved her, well your boss doesnt love you when you roll up a blunt and smoke it in the bathroom which is 10 feet from the dance hall.

Bartender A: Getting Head in the bathroom from Waitress B does not help you keep your job when you are supposed to be serving drinks.

and lets save the best for last...

I am working a wedding that is at a metropark and the groom and some groomsmen go to the parking lot inside their SUV and smoke marijuana. Cops are dicks and bust the groom on his wedding night and are also arresting his friends, eventually another cop convinces them just to let them go blah blah blah.. Well the police offer put the weed inside an investigation bag and put it in the kitchen, this was like a dime-bag maybe a $20 sack of pot, well the genius's i worked with decided to steal it, cops came back, he searches him he is fired..

i forgot how fucked up my job was.. I worked there for 16 months and I am not lying I probobly watched 100+ people come and go

sizzam · 1 year

Worked at an ISP tech support job with another guy named "Brian Smith". Brian was excited to finally receive his official company business cards. The only problem was that there was a typo on them. Instead of "bsmith@whatever.com", they printed "briansmith@whatever.com". So, he did the obvious thing -- found the email address, unlinked it from the customer's account who it currently belonged to, and transferred it to his own account. The customer called in later that day to troubleshoot why his email stopped working.

FOOMP

olsonick · 1 year

During a break while we were all playing basketball, coworker told supervisor that 'nigras can jump higher because they have evolved better heels.'

FOOMP

seriot · 1 year

A provider rep at my company took a 3 week vacation to go back to Pakistan to oversee his dieing grandma. When he came back within 2weeks he claimed it was a quick death. He then proceeded to walk around the offices telling co-workers he really was just testing out a new job offer he had. He claimed it was to much travelling so he decided to stay at this job. He was promptly fired after management found out.

Another co-worker was caught on facebook.com multiple times. When facebook was blocked she had gotten two computer viruses. She supposely found a new job and quit after the second computer virus.

justintnelson · 1 year

I was sacked for saying "Oriental rug" in a work place dominated by Asians. H.R. said that "Oriental" was the equivalent of saying the "N" word for black people. The company had a zero tolerance policy for racist remarks - I didn't know. whaaat-foomp.

eandi · 1 year

On the first day of work a new coworker went to the boss and told her that she needed a week and a half off to go to Texas for a Christian Conference. She had known about it for 2 weeks and she was the only one in her hired position (for a 12 week summer job). That's a bingo.

raugturi · 1 year

Oh man, I almost forgot about this one and I'm the one who got the guy fired.

I was working for Office Max and the store manager was a total asshole. He was also shady as hell. He had a side business assembling the furniture we sold, where he used the business itself to get customers. Employees in the furniture department were instructed to hand out business cards for the assembly business and include it as an upsell during the process.

That's not what got him fired though. He also liked to use the display computers as a testing ground for new software. When he found something he liked he'd steal the software itself. So one day I'm working and he comes over and asks me to make a copy for him of the software he's tested most recently. I asked him what he wanted it on and he told me to grab an unopened package of CD-Rs off the shelf and use one of those. I did and then immediately called the store theft hotline. I hid the open box of the original software in back as evidence, but apparently when the regional manager showed up the next day he still had the copy (non-working, btw, I didn't bring over all the files he needed) as well as the blank CDs, which he hadn't paid for either.

TL;DR - Don't treat your employees like shit and then ask them to commit crimes on your behalf. They will rat you out.

msdesireeg · 1 year

Nope. I'm a teacher, so no matter how cruel, stupid, unprofessional, or ineffective they are, my co-workers are NEVER fired, just shuffled around.

overkill · 1 year

Quite a disturbing one here.

About 10 years ago I was working in a finance department and applied for a supervisor job, only to be turned down and had some very strange woman hired instead. This woman spent all her time sending explicit emails to her partner in the IT department.

We couldn't find out what she had been doing before. She said she had been studying Maths at university but wouldn't say which one. I had studied math and she couldn't even name any of the subjects she was interested in. Red lights started flashing...

Just before Christmas I went away for a few weeks and when I came back I was told I was now the supervisor. My boss then told me that my former supervisor had been arrested at work and charged with causing the death of her child through neglect. Turns out she had been on maternity leave before she started working for us, suffered from a major personality disorder and had, as the judge and social workers said, "failed to bond with the child".

Her own mother didn't know she had a second child (her first one was fine). She would go to work and leave the kid in the boot of the car or at home alone. After a couple of weeks he starved to death, alone, surrounded by food, 17 months old, too weak to cry.

She was eventually sentenced to life. Still makes me feel hollow inside. It was described by local police as the worst case of neglect they had seen.

EDIT - wrong sentence

1 year

[deleted]

radiobath · 1 year

Once, one of my employees was fired for attempting to psychically fight me AT WORK. Loudly, and In front of customers. All because i had asked her to stop leaving her register area.

Edit: psycically to physically- sticky keyboard, sorry :]

jboy55 · 1 year

Someone at work was fired for being on Reddit to mu... wait a sec, my boss wants to talk to me

right_foot_red · 1 year

Used to work as a zip-line tour guide here. My coworkers got fired for "skinny-zipping"

BiloxiElectricEels · 1 year

A technician at my old job (an environmental consulting firm) went missing for a few days with the company truck. Our company got a call from the cops a few days later that they had found the truck and towed it. Another co-worker went down to pick it up with the admin lady and found a big rock of coke and some weed in the truck, and it was nearly totaled.

ELIMINATED!

DougyM · 1 year

Oil Company:

Guy took 3 weeks off then came back in dressed as a woman, told everyone he was now to be reffered to as if he was actualy female and then proceeded to act incredibly fucking creepy (hitting the guys in the shift, going to the toilet constantly and returning all sweaty). Finaly got fired when his hardcore gay porn stash fell through the roof in the toilets and landed on one of the cleaners.

Guy lied about his grades to get the job, then lied about everything else and would constantly make up claims that he had a girlfriend with an abusive ex who he would end up "fighting" every other week, as we walked past a car show room he pointed right at the best one and told us he had bought that very car (wich was still on display with a price and everything), eventualy someone sneaked a look at his phone while he was on a break and then phoned his supposed girlfriend, turns out it was his cousin and he had lied about practicly everything, later that day the management asked him to go get proof of his qualifications and he ended up crying in their offices... got sacked then punched a brick wall on the way out of the training centre and broke his hand.

PC engineering company:

Guy showed up on his first day and it was a fairly laid back attitude between the management and the rest of us so we would all sit and talk about random stuff while working or on a break... my dad was in the army and the manager was an ex soldier while another guy had 2 brothers over in Iraq at the time... the new guy proceeds to talk about how he hates the armed forces and hoped that all the soldiers would die and all that good stuff, then he left for lunch and came back an hour late still eating a McDonalds meal and reaking of jack daniels.

Fired about 5 minutes later and tried to attack the manager on his way out.

It seems to me that ive worked with a lot of seriously fucked up people.

as1126 · 1 year

I had to fire a person for threatening violence at work, something along the lines of "Some MF is going to get punched in the face; not you, I'm not talking about you, but someone."

Took about 30 minutes to get him escorted from the building.

[deleted] · 1 year

Worked with a giant fat guy at a wireless isp. He had been divorced previously, was obsessed with paramilitary shit, tried to start his own paintball field (which failed), and was just generally retarded as fuck and obnoxious.

On one of his solo installations I guess he approached the lady of the house (who was pregnant) and offered her a foot massage. She was alone in the house. He took off her shoes and told her to "relax" and began touching her feet. She was too scared to call our office. We found out and a week later... FOOMP.

Actually this happened a lot with him, we would get complaints from clients we had sent him to, so our database was full of notes attached to client files that said "Don't send fatass".

burketo · 1 year

A guy I used to work with in Qatar met an arab woman in a bar and started seeing her. They were fucking for about a month. She was married. The husband found out.

My company didn't so much sack him as get him on a plane home with an hour's notice for his own safety and then pretend they had never heard of him. He got away with clean heels on that one. The guy he was living with said they turned up about 20 minutes after he left the apartment.

rbtcattail · 1 year

Working at a small legal support firm we hired a pair of brothers one to do project work, the other fresh out of school to do software dev.

Both were pretty sharp guys, but eventually lead to some shenanigans:

Brother A would routinely show up to work and work his butt off working towards his end goal of getting loaded @ the end of the day. His crowning achievement however was stealing a fire extinguisher one evening after being out drinking and discharging it all over our brand new building's lobby after using his badge to enter the building and all on digital video which was emailed to me and my bosses by building security. I went to bat for him and somehow didn't have to fire him. He left later on his old accord.

TL; DR Brother A gets drunk and goes crazy with fire extinguisher

His younger software dev, brother B, worked extremely hard and had built some very useful tools. I noticed however, that he was working longer and longer hours and looking more and more un-kept as time went on.

One weekend evening I came in to shut down all the servers and workstations prior to a planned building power outage and upon entering his office awoke him from under his desk. He clearly had been there for a while and smelled of cheese. I, shocked of course, told him to shut down his PC and head home. He obliged.

As time went on, many other co-workers noticed He was always in the building, I even had production line workers say to me "I am worried about Brother B, I think he lives here"

Eventually Brother B was dumped by his fiancé and his parents split up. He began acting even more oddly and one day announced to me, my boss (our CEO) and my subordinates that he had reached a major breakthrough and needed to have a huge meeting with the team and the press. That same day, his brother (brother A from above) found his printed out meeting agenda, which was the table of contents and shorthand from the book of revelations.

Confronted with this info, I had put two and two together and figured out that Brother B had lost his marbles. I notified the CEO that he needed to be let go, presented his printed out "meeting notes" as proof and left the building fearing he might really lose it. The CEO promptly let Brother B go, upon cleaning up his office it was confirmed he was living in the building and was on a massive self made meth bender. He later stole a car, burnt down a house he was living in and murdered an old man. He is now serving life in prison in CA.

TL; DR Brother B lives in office, gets hooked on self cooked meth, calls for press conference to promote his re-written book of revelations and gets fired. Later murders a man and is spending life in prison

muhnooer · 1 year

I had a co-worker get mugged and beaten unconscious one night after she got home from work. She didn't call in sick the next two days and was fired. (because she was in a coma)

When management found out what happened she was immediately re-hired, then fired two weeks later because she was apparently having sex with 4 or 5 guys at the office... and that just started a shit storm of firings. It was a crazy month.

slap_bet · 1 year

I used to work at a large law firm. We had a few amusing stories go on in the 2 years I spent in their IT department.

The first stories involve an associate who we'll call Justin. Justin apparently loved himself some porn and couldn't get enough of it at work. Our firm was set up so that every user had a personal folder on a central server, and we noticed this server was getting full. This happens every once in a while, and the first thing we usually do is search for all videos, photos, and mp3s on the server, and let people know to take them down or we will delete them (since they're personal and don't need to be on there). Well in the course of one such search, we found GIGABYTES of porn in Justin's userfolder. Somehow (probably because he was good at his job, dunno) Justin managed to keep his job.

Fast forward 2 years. We're looking to upgrade to exchange 2007 and run off a quick report of how big peoples mail stores are. Predictably, the bigwigs who send hundreds of emails each day are near the top. But the number 1 mail store belongs to Justin again. Apparently Justin was not content to get caught once, and had been emailing himself porn since we busted him for keeping it on the server. My friend the network admin had to download all of it onto a hard drive and take it to one of the big bosses at the firm. The big boss, and this is the weirdest part, made my friend show him the porn for a good hour. Just watching porn with the General Counsel of the firm. Super awkward. For this, Justin's punishment was to lose his laptop, but AFAIK he still works there.

The other story is about one of our Developers. Let's call him Danny. Danny had been working on a project for a long time, and it just wasn't getting done. When we hired a new boss for him, she started asking a lot of questions and Danny got very belligerent. I suppose Danny could tell what was up because he started occasionally remoting in to his boss's computer and checking her calendar. Whenever he saw a meeting on her calendar with HR, he would pretend he had to leave early for a sick relative. This went on for about 6 weeks, he was able to delay the inevitable firing. Eventually they caught on to what he was doing, and they fired him anyway. Once he had left, they looked around his office and found hundreds and hundreds of little origami cranes in 2 drawers. This would be why his project was 2 years behind schedule.

michaeld0 · 1 year

At my old job my former executive director who worked there for about 8 months is currently being investigated by the FBI and state attorney general for increasing her pay without board authorization by about $160,000. She also laid off long time employees under the pretense of saving the company money and then hired her friends instead for higher salaries all the while cutting our benefits and making us take furlough days to save money. She was also a giant bitch and I hope she gets what is coming to her. I have never met anyone with such a sense of self entitlement before.

Here is an article about it.

MuddieMaeSuggins · 1 year

We had a guy here who was already on his last chance for general incompetence. I came in one Monday morning to an utter shitshow among my three bosses - one of our clients had called up to ask if the Joe Smith who had recently been assigned to them was the same Joe Smith who had been in an armed stand off with the police in Town-of-6000-People that weekend. Turns out it was our employee, who's girlfriend had called him in sick that day (and the next three days). We are assuming he was in jail during the sick leave.

So our non-local VP attempts to talk to Joe by phone several times, but Joe keeps blowing him off. VP and my bosses assume Joe won't come into work that week, so they plan to fire him Friday morning. Then Joe email non-local VP really early in the morning on Thursday to say he's coming in that day. VP calls him, has him pull his truck over, and fires him by phone while he's parked on the side of the road.

ojoil · 1 year

As I read these stories, I keep getting the feeling like "I remember when so and so did that!", but didn't get fired. TIL it's impossible to get fired at my job!

We've had people crash company trucks, get 24 suspensions (DUI) with company trucks, lose thousands and thousand of dollars worth of equipment, not show up for work, show up drunk, install pirated software, play games at work...the list goes on. We've got a Counter-strike server in our back lab, and a NAS full of music and movies. No one has ever said boo about a lot of this shit, let alone FOOMP

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