well in this case, the point isn't that she do it alone. it's that her boyfriend isn't pleasing her satisfactorily. maybe he's not trying hard enough, maybe she's not telling him he needs to try harder, maybe he's not willing to. but no one is saying he's doing anything wrong, but he's obviously not doing something right for her. a reminder that she's normal may need to be relayed to him, if he has unrealistic expectations of what ladies are supposed to do during intercourse. i suppose your defensiveness is what struck me. if she isn't satisfied by him, i think there are many communication barriers that should be broken down and explored before adding external items to the sex game. your comment implies that's your go-to answer, and i just wanted to point out that sometimes there's more to it than that. i do understand where you're coming from, though.